Sometimes...

Sometimes it's hard to not get wrapped up in the events of life and what is happening around you
But then again sometimes getting involved might not be an intention but something that just happened
Sometimes it's better to turn a blind eye and keep on walking
Sometimes it's better to keep your opinions to yourself than start talking
Sometimes you need to realise when things don't concern you
Sometimes putting your nose where it doesn't belong could end up ruining you
Sometimes life is just teaching you a lesson
So some mistakes are good and can be mended
But others show where certain things in your life should be ended
And they say silent rivers run deep
So there are times that you should let your silence speak

Note: Thoughts swirling... Shout out to those who still visit my blog. Love yall. Tanny xx


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Woll A Reason...

#MedzItOut

Yuh affi just learn fi just bill more while and just woll a medz. Life nuh easy but sumaddy outdeh always have it harder dan yuh, just give thanks. All when life feel like it cyaa get nuh worse, a just the storm before di calm dat suh just woll di faith.
Mummy a my role model. All when tings did rough, mummy still a cut and a go chuu kah she woll di faith and nuh let guh. Suh mi always try fi do di same.

More wile mi feel fed up and feel like mi waan give up an ting but mi seh to miself mummy neva give up suh mi cyaa do dat. Mi affi mek mummy proud. Right ya now tings slow and sticky but a life and mi still a woll di faith. 

Nuh watch nuhbady, nuh badmind nuhbady, focus pon yuh self. Kah yuh cudana watch sumaddy and dem garn a lead while yuh still deh deh inna mi same place. Try fi better fi yuh life, everybady av dem owna way fi do dat suh just dweet how yuh kno how. 

Pree dis...

Life nuh easy
Every man affi eat
Nuh people get greedy
And dem kno seh food nuh cheap
Nuff signs show God soon come fi him land
Just mek sure seh woll di faith
And nuh watch nuh man!

Mi kno seh sometimes mi just need fi woll a reason wid sumaddy fi set mi mind straight again. Nuff times people nuh appreciate weh dem av inna dem life because dem nah look pon di positive side a tings, and mi can vouch fi dat miself kah a nuff time mi dwell pon negative tings. But mi a learn seh dat nah guh get mi noweh. Just affi gwarn woll di faith.

Note: Thinking... Hope all is well on your end. Tanny xx

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Fi Wi Board House

Fi wi board house did strong and di kersine oil lamp did bright
Stone well kotch up di window and newspaper stuff peep hole fi stop centipede from come in at night
One bed fi di 3 a wi, mi sista pon di left and me pon di right
We never av nutten luxurious but wi did a still live life
Monday morning hair well comb and uniform well neat
Mi tek my place inna mi regular classroom seat
Belly well full kah mommy mek cornmeal porridge fi wi eat
And mek sure send wi guh learn kah education a di key
Whilst wi garn a school shi garn a supermarket and always carry back patty fi wi
Nah favour one over di other kah a did di two a wi
If a one sweetie it a split into two
Kah yuh cyaa gi one and nuh gi two
Like peas in a pod a di three a wi anyweh wi guh
A bond like fi wi rare kah nowadays pikney nah grow suh
Dats why mi nah figet weh mi come from anyweh mi guh
Kah mi memba di road weh mi did a trod pon did ruff
Mi have di upmost respect fi mummy and wi gi har everything
Mek sure shi well kriss and har belly nah bawl fi feeding
Kah nutten nuh sweet suh like a mothers love
Cherish it kah nuff nahv none
Concrete shi live inna now and it nahv nuh peep hole
Have up microwave, fridge and all gas stove
All dem sumun yah might nuh seem like nutten
But mi memba a nutten wi a come from fi av up alla dem yah sumun
Suh mi give thanks fi everything weh wi have
And above all wi still av life suh mi nuh muss glad! 

Note: Hope you like it. Love you all. Tanny xx

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Letting You Into My Thoughts (As Usual)


Hey, Bonjour, Hola, Ni hao...

So it's been a while, a long while. I feel like I say this on more or less every post because I leave it so long to post. (I need to brush up on my consistency, I know, I know)

First I want to say, THANK YOU to those who still visit my blog. I'm actually surprised that people still do but very grateful as well. So a massive thank you to you all.

Now on to the juicy bits... where should I start...

Hmmmm (thinking...)

Life is great I guess, because I am alive and well so I'm thankful for that. Although I have a mental battle going on at the moment but otherwise I'm good. Hope you and yours (if you have a yours) are too. Everything has just been crazy lately. You could say the big bad world just slapped me in my face cause all I seem to do is work and work and work only for the money to be gone as soon as I get paid. Crazy but such is life and I can't even say it's life because I still have things fairly easy, if you know what I mean.
In the midst of it all, I'm still trying to figure myself out. I know in a few years time (God willing) I will look back and probably laugh at myself for being so confused but I'm just trying to focus on now. I say trying because that is all I can do, try.

Meanwhile, I keep seeing videos almost everyday of the 'Ice Bucket Challenge'. I mean it's all suppose to be in the name of charity but I can't help thinking that there is some deeper meaning behind it. I mean look at the popularity and out of all things charitable why is this one so viral. Most people are just being bandwagonists and are doing it for the fun of it without donating, which defeats the whole object. Pouring ice cold water on yourself does not solve anything, it shows that you did it but that is all. And where is the logic in that?! Anyways, I guess that's my opinion on that, I won't go any further.


I'm listening to PartyNextDoor- TBH whilst writing this. At this moment in time this song speaks volumes to me. You know when you want someone, but not so sure if that feeling is mutual; yet that person is sending you signals that has you thinking whether to act on them or not. I'm going through some type of Morse code, mix messages situation and I dislike when someone says something but their actions doesn't imitate their words. Yes, this is part of my confusion. It's one of those situations that you either wait out or make up your mind to just look the other way and I'm kind of in between waiting and turning my head. I'm so confused it's unreal.

I feel like I need to sit down and pour my heart out to someone. I mean, nowadays it's hard to find someone genuine who will listen and keep what's been said to themselves and who won't judge you as well. I mean, I don't mind what others have to say about me because my outer appearance can be a conversational topic, but I guess most people always judge books by their covers. But I still feel the need to just let it all out.

This is why I turned to my blog, I guess old habits never die. I just needed to jot down some of what is circulating in my brain for a minute. And whilst people may read this and find it useless, there is always one person that finds it useful and that is why I post; well when I have the time.

Life is hectic, time is limited and creativity is hiding in a closet at the moment. This seems like an excuse, but no excuse, nothing but the truth. Consistency is the key but I'm still trying to find the lock. Bare with me...

That's all for now though.

Note: Love you all. Tanny xx

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EXPERIENCE or lack of it...

Experience Or Lack Of It

Lack of experience... This phrase is like death itself.

In a world where no-one wants to give you a chance to gain the experience that you need, yet you are suppose to have the experience in order to even be considered for a position. Yes, it's jobs that I'm talking about. The ones that don't require any experience are the ones that lack a stable paycheck. So what do you do? I mean even  most trainee-ships require some form of experience, which defeats the whole point of them being called trainee-ships; isn't the sole purpose of them to train whilst you earn.

My frustration is at it's peak right now... If you didn't study a career led subject, by this I mean doing degrees to lead you into some form of uniform job; i.e doctors, nurses, therapists etc, then ultimately the job industry becomes a rock. And most of those who study anything to do with creativity find it ten times harder to break into this rock of an industry.
Somehow, it's like it is pointless to do anything to do with creativity unless you know you can make money out of it. This is where I am struggling. I dable in almost everything that is creative, I can draw, write, create and edit yet I can't seem to get the opportunity I need to put these things to good use and make money.
I want to be a part of the small percentage of people that actually wake up and look forward to going to work because they love what they do. That is all. 

You almost start to feel guilty for choosing the path that you had....

I've started to think of ways that I can utilise all of my skills and I keep coming up short because in order to do something I need money to start it off, which ultimately leads me back to square one; right at the beginning of my frustration.

The sad part of this all is that whilst you are trying to research and figure how to combine all that you can do, you have to have money coming in somewhere, so you apply to mediocre jobs. The down side of these 9-5 or part time roles is that you spend most of your time trying to earn as much as you can for the little that you are getting paid. This leads to lack of time to develop the skills that you have or even lack of time to use these skills to be creative. Your creativity them becomes a plant that hasn't been watered or exposed to sunlight and we all know what happens after that. And where does this lead to... right back to the beginning of my frustration, again.

Hope and perseverance are like ying and yang in situations like these. When a part of you wants to give up, another part of you wants to try harder, wants to persevere and vise se versa. All I can say is, go with your instincts.

I know that a lot of people are in a similar boat, and some storms are harder to ride out than others, but if you get knocked off just make sure you can swim and if you can't swim then stay well away from the edges.

Basically what I am saying is, from one frustrated being to another, don't let both hope and perseverance drown, as long as you keep one above the waters you should be fine.  

Note: .... Love Tanny xx


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Blinking Back The Tears



It is normal in life to have ups and downs but I feel as though I'm just having strings of downs... I'm not being an ingrate because I am very much thankful for what I have achieved so far, but when you have a feeling that you should be greater than you are; it is hard to appreciate what you have already. But none the less I am still grateful.

I'm blinking back the tears as I type this...

It's hard to explain how I feel because it is as though I am lost in the feeling of feeling lost. I'm not sure how much sense that makes but that's the best I can come up with about the description of how I feel. I mean, usually I try to post things that are positive and uplifting etc but I feel like the only way I can try ease the mixture of feelings I'm currently feeling is to just write. So here I am, writing a post that most of you will probably ignore.

Maybe this is a cry for help, but only to those who hear it. I don't know. Maybe typing this alone will sum up just how much of a muddle of confusion I am in. Again, I don't know.

These internal battles are not just at war with me but with themselves.

I've turned to the one thing that helped me through previous moments like these but as I am typing this I am fighting not to go to the depths of my pain and only express what is floating at the top.

I don't know how long I can blink back these tears for...

I really don't know...

Note: _______ Love for the support. Tanny xx



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Lack of Motipation (Motivation & Inspiration)

Its been a while since I have posted anything and the reason for that is lack of motivation and lack of inspiration. Truth is, I have been meaning to post but everytime I start to write a million things jump to the front of my brain trying to all spill out at once. I will eventually get my mojo back and hopefully have more experiences to share with you all.
Thank you to all those who still visit my blog. Just bare with me, art takes time and if rushed it isn't art at all.
Love you all. Tanny xx

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Tun Yuh Words Inna Actions

Nuff people deh pon di get rich quick mentality
But two minds work betta dan one  suh unnuh fi create unity
Work togeda as a community
And si how unnuh wi relish in prosperity
Instead a watch each oda
If a sista start climb unnuh a bruk dung di ladder,
And if sumaddy ever a buss a bredda
Unnuh a seh a sell him sell unnuh out
But wah unnuh a do except a run off unnuh mout
Tun yuh words inna action
But not di type a action weh a hinder anoda bredda motivation
And dem seh dis worl Inna ression
But nuff people a use dat as an excuse nuh fi betta dem position
And mi feel sorry fi di next generation,
Because dem aguh Inna a harder situation
And look how Jamaica a twist and a turn
Money guh as fass a yuh earn
And nuff people nah earn nutten
But dem a di ones who always affi a seh sumun
Tun yuh words inna action

Turn your words into actions

Note: Haven't written anything in a long while and my apologies for that. I'm slowly regaining consistency so bare with me. Thanks. Love you all. Tanny xx

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Encapsulated By Lust



The moon brightly smiled over us as we drove in silence

I felt eyes piercing my neck so I turned around and took a glance

Locking gaze with the hungrier eyes I've ever seen

All night I was watched with eyes that were keen

Every movement, every smile, every laugh seemed to make them more intense

His dark brown pupils shone through his lens

As we neared home I felt his hand on my leg

Unexpectedly I jumped and caught my breath

Not because I was scared but due to the impulses that went through me

He turned the corner and pulled up by our tree

Turned off the engine and leant over to me

He said “I don't think I can make it inside”

A little confused... “What do you mean?” I replied

He moved back and kissed my lips and said he needed me now

I understood straight away and began to move with him just as I knew how

I wrapped my hands around his neck

At my touch I felt his body tensed

Pulling him close I barely brushed my lips against his

I felt a strong urge come over me as he tugged at my hips

The position was awkward but exciting

He bent his head to my neck and started biting

I pulled his head up and the look in our eyes mirrored each other’s'

Encapsulated by lust we craved one another

I whispered that we should go round to the back seat

And after an hour or so we took to the sheets

Put our favourite slow jams on repeat



And throughout the entire night our hearts doubled its beats

Note: It's been a while. ahhhhhhh I know but enjoy and love you guys for showing love & support. Thanks a bunch. Tanny xx 

P.S the picture was created by me as well :p :)

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Imagine


Imagine giving your heart and every part of you to someone
Only to have that person treat you the same as everyone
Imagine letting that person into your soul, your secrets and your dreams
To have them destroy every aspect of your emotional and imaginary realms
Have you ever been in a situation where your heart was in the hands of another?
That whatever they decided to do with it would affect your future
Think for a second that your heart was in the hands of a child
An immature infant that only knows how to play and run wild
Having no idea what to do with it, that child begins to toss it up and down
Making sure that it is caught before it hits the ground
That feeling of your heart being tossed simulates the butterflies that are felt
And imitates a sort of morning sickness that stirs inside which makes your feelings melt
Still in the hands of the child, you fear for your heart
Wishing that you could take it back whilst it hasn't lost any parts
But it is too late to rewind time, so all you can do is let the child play
Hoping and praying that the excitement that is gotten from playing with it fades
Just imagine that is your heart that is clasped in those excited fingers
Would you be able to handle the emotional, physical or mental bittersweet torture?
You see this resembles some aspects of love
Be careful, else you will place your heart in the wrong gloves
Although they say “we learn from our mistakes”
But the pain of giving your all to the wrong person is not a light mistake to be made
On the bright side some of us will come out of these situations stronger than ever
With more knowledge on how to protect their hearts in the future
So cover your heart but that doesn't mean you should leave your mind wide open
Make sure your heart is at the end of many obstacles and is considered the most precious token
If you make it easy, then believe me it won’t be worth it

And if it’s not worth it, you will end just being another easy target.

Note: This came to me a last week and I'm only just getting chance to post it. Not sure what I think about it. Hope you enjoy. Love you all, Tanny x

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