Made You Think 101: Half Sapiosexual

Have you got that one person in your life whose words literally blows your mind?

You know that one person who you talk to about endless things. You never run out of conversation topics because one leads to the next and so on.
That one person who you just say 'hi' to and you end up leaving the conversation (not that you ever want it to end) thinking, omg, how beautifully deep was that?

Sapiosexual: One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature; behaviour of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.- Taken from collinsdictionary.com

Okay, I admit it.... *Raises hand* 

I'm a half sapiosexual! 

It felt so good getting that off my chest!

But really...

The way that I hold conversation with certain people just makes them so attractive in my eyes. How we swap knowledge and relay our insights on certain topics to each other. How we open up a vortex to a whole nother realm of thoughts and possibilities. I could converse with some people for hours and never lose interest.

But there is just this one person, who I'd sit, listen and engage in dialogue with untill my jawbones ache! (Excuse the clicheness of that sentence lol) But I seriously love and take pleasure in our discussions. 

It's so refreshing to stumble across conscious likeminded people, who you can learn from and teach things aswell.
These people make me appreciate life more and have better faith in humanity.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Note: So tomorrow is lovers day. I don't believe in it much but I hope you are all going to make it special for your partners/lovers. Look out for tomorrow's special vday post! Love you all. Much love. Tanny xx

Made You Think 101: Ladies Own Yourself

Ladies… Ladies… Ladies… 

This post is especially aimed at you all.
I never understood how some females can be so dependent on men! 



Literally change themselves to be the preys of these lustful men!

Growing up I didnt care much for boys, I was busy trying to be like them, than trying to impress them. I didnt care much for makeup and tight clothes, although I did go through a phase where I tried to fit in. When I say fit in, I also mean fit into the clothes. I tried to be all girly and conform to the things that society claims a typical girl should do and wear.
But, I quickly got fed of of that and I felt like I was trying way too hard to prove that I am something I already am... A girl.
I hated the feel of makeup on my face, and I felt like my whole indentity was being covered. 
Tight clothes made me feel just as uncomfortable and I called it quits on heels. 

All this trouble women have to go through just to attract male attention.
Don't get me wrong, there are some females who love it. They love the whole dressing up charade and more to the point, do it for themselves.

See, the thing I find disheartening is... If you do something, do it cause you love it, cause it makes you feel good, don't do it for anyone else.
The sooner you learn and understand to please yourself first, the better you will become as an individual.

Personally, I am not attracted to most men. I don't like to be made to feel like I am inferior to them. As though they are the lion in the jungle whilst I'm just a little pretty beetle, who do as and when she is told. 
The few that attract me are the ones who I feel on par with. Who I can hold an equally opinionated conversation with without having to feel like just cause I'm a female I should say this or that or shouldn't.
I like sharing the pants, so we can both have a leg in. 

I'm sure many would disagree, but ladies, be independent. Own your self and do things for you. Do You For You!

Note: Just sharing some of my thoughts as usual. Hope you like it. Much love. Tanny xx


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Made You Think 101: Will You Be Buried With Your Money?

If you were freely given £1million, what would you do with it?

Money is everything… literally!

Without money it, it's hard to survive in this consumerist world.
Amongst young minds it is hard to find someone who will tell you, "I don't want to be rich!", because that is what most young people nowadays aspire to be. They aspire to look a certain way and live a certain lifestyle and to allow that to happen, well, they think they have to be rich.
I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with aspiring to have a well-off lifestyle, but it's the 'whys' that I find interesting.
If someone tells you that they want to be rich… ask them why? Nine times of of ten, the reasons will be based on or linked to something materialist. Things that won't make it to the grave with them. 

Excuse me for being a bit forward with this post, but I'm just putting it out there. Take from it what you will.

I've always wanted to be wealthy enough to provide for my family, to live comfortably, not flashy, just comfortable. 
The more I research, read and understand the sort of world I am living in, the less I want money to be the centre of my life; not that I ever wanted that. But, unfortunately for me, that is the case at this moment in time. 
One of my Aims & Aspirations, as stated in a previous post was to travel and explore more but yet again money is a barrier.

We are all slaves to the workings of the world, trying to make the most of life in whichever way possible. We are all trying to live the way that we dreamt of or certainly working towards it.
There is nothing wrong with that, after all dreams are meant to be chased. 

But, if someone were to freely hand you £1million, what would you do with it?

And why?

I bet, if I didn't mention anything about working towards your dreams, it would be the last thing you'd think of funding. 

I have a good/bad habit, depending on the situation, of putting people first, mainly those who mean a lot to me. So if, I was freely handed £1million, my very first thought would be to make sure my family is good. Anything of materialist value would come last on my list. 

I understand that for some people, they are comfortable where they are right now and may not wish anything to change, as some of you are already living your dreams. In that case, would you upgrade your dream, would you squander it or would you invest it?
Some people would spend it creating memories that will last a lifetime and having the time of their lives in doing so.

But, what value do you give money in your life?  

Whatever you choose to do with the money that you earn or if a £1million was freely handed to you, just remember that it cannot be buried with you. So don't lose yourself in the money chase that you forget to live, forget to breathe and even forget how to be still. Just some food for thought.

Note: So after checking my bank balance today, I decided to write a post about money. Hope you liked it. Much Love. Tanny xx

Made You Think 101- Dotted Lines

If someone asks for your signature on a document, do you read the fine print first or do you just sign without thinking?

In life, in everything that you do, make sure you read the fine print. Make sure you are aware of what you are signing yourself up for.  Even do research if you must.

I was in my thoughts as usual and this thought popped into my head. I didn't know what I was signing myself up for when I opened up to certain people. I let myself go. It was only after that, that I realised I had no idea what I was in for.

In relation to relationships, don't jump in head first. Dip your toe into the water first, make sure it's right for you.

When it come on to work, do your research. Gather as much information about the company or organisation as you can. If you know someone who works there, ask for their honest opinions. Even though, this might not help if it is something negative but still atleast you can prepare yourself for the worst whilst hoping to make the best of it.

I'm sure there are many more examples but I'm just keeping it short and hopefully sweet.

Just make sure, the next time you are presented with dotted lines that is awaiting your signature, read the fine print first.

Note: This is the start of what I hope to be a new series. Just something a little different that I'm trying out. Hope you like it. Much Love Tanny x

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Those Words

Have you ever missed someone so much that food doesn't even entice you anymore? 

I miss you...
In the event that those words are said to us, we have to think and act accordingly.
We have to analyse the situation and ask ourselves, why is that?
Was it the person's fault as to why your presence is being missed?
How did it lead to that?
Was it a break up? ... A falling out or is that you drifted apart?
What did you fulfil in their life that leaves that part of them empty when you are no longer there?

Then you have to weigh up the odds...
Do you feel the same?
If so, do you want that person to know?
Is it worth them knowing?
Will it change anything them knowing?

If you are trying to overcome a break up and don't want to fall back into old routines then maybe your best option is to ignore those words. Feel somewhat triumphant that you left such an impact on their lives that they realise exactly what they are missing.

If its a falling out, perhaps with a close friend, maybe you wanted to make up but didnt know how or just didn't want to be the bigger person and say something first. In which case, those words exchanged is the start to rebonding.

For me... Those words are sometimes my kryptonite, the words that I wanted to hear but didnt at the same time. When you are trying to leave someone in your past, those words seem to come along and hit you. It can create such anger and flash so many memories in front of you at once that you don't even realise you replied with 'I miss you too', till you remember exactly why you didnt want to in the first place!

I'm a sucker for moments like that.
I have keep reminding myself to not get caught back up in the same trap and leave things in the past.
I'm getting good at ignoring the 'I miss yous'!

Life is too short to keep repeating the same passage in your story over and over. Learn from it and move on. Surely, you will hurt but turn those 'I miss yous' into motivation to find someone who will be saying more 'I love yous' instead.

Note: Hope you enjoy this post. Much love. Tanny xx

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This Is Me©

Nappy hair with the ends dyed
Big lips, small nose and even bigger eyes
Average sized breasts, flat ass and small in size
But this is me and guess what its all mine
I’m not all for tight clothes, so my jeans might sag a little
And when I walk I might just bounce a little
Feeling myself, yeah, I got a bit of a narcissistic trait
But I guess I am happy with myself in a world that leads many to self hate
So, you can dress me with as many labels as you like
But my nakedness remains bold to those who don’t have their minds
Tied up by the warp and weft of my outer appearance
I’m not something to be priced but my mind is surely having a clearance
I don’t come with instructions on how to wash me whenever I've been soiled
By the venomous tongues lashes and the critiquing eyes
Although I might fade from time to time, my colour is always restored
And those who pass judgements are always ignored
But there is always that little drop of words that hits my skin and seep into my pours
And somehow highlights my flaws
They say words don’t have the power to hurt you but sometimes they rip into my soul
Or leave a stain on my heart
So I dig my nails into my palms
In my attempts to stop the droplets from running
Down my face as I try to iron out the creases from frowning
But then I remember that I am proud of the skin I’m in
I relish in this melanin!
And I hang myself above and away from the rest of those that society labels like clothing

With my big eyes, big lips, average breasts and other so called imperfections.

Note: Be proud of who you are and what you have. Love yourself, love yourself again and don't stop loving yourself! Be bold, embrace you! Much love. Tanny xx

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Remember Your Manners!

I don't understand people of this day and age.
Everyone wants to be respected but nobody wants to give it.
Elders think just because they are of age, they have out-grown please, thank yous and common courtesy.
Respect is a two way street, it works both ways. You have to give it to get it.

My mother told me from a tender age that manners carry you through the world. People use to remember the person who held the door open for them, the person who wished them a good day and the person who used their manners.

Now we all seem to be in a rush, trying to fund a way of life that we forget the simple things. We forget politeness and gratitude.
It's not everyday you are in a good mood or it's not everyday that the day goes as planned; and fair enough we are all going through things. But even if your troubles have you on your knees, don't forget to show that gratitute and politeness you were taught. It may even be the key to ending all your troubles.
That same person who you said thanks to or wish a good day, could be the same person who gives you that helping hand you need.

For me, it is not everyday I can put on a smile but no matter what I always try to remember my manners. 
I may not have a strong liking towards someone who held a door open for me, but I will still show my appreciation and say thank you!

It's the little things that carry you a long way. Just bear that in mind!

Note: Just a quick post, inspired by a few events in my day. Hope you enjoyed! Much love, Tanny xx

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Is this punishment?©

Did I do something wrong?
Is that why I feel like I don't belong?
Is it because I should have appreciated more?
Should I have knelt down more?
Should my palms be softly kissing more?
Whilst I whisper hope filled words that are wrapped in a faith as loose as mine
Is that why I'm having to wipe my eyes?
Every other day my feelings I'm trying to pinpoint
Cause its unclear where they are stemming from
Is it because I fell in love with her?
Had dreams about holding her near
Caressing her, whilst wiping away her fears
Is it cause I poured out all of my care?
Or is it cause I didn't give him a chance?
Cause I didn't let him have my hand
Couldn't see pass the fact that he's, well he's a man
But I gave false hope to another one
What is it? I'm trying so hard to decode
The deeper I dig, the deeper it goes
Is this a lesson to be learnt?
Is this a story for when I'm old?
Is this just a rough patch?
Is this a look back and laugh? 

What is it?

Is this….

Is this punishment?

Note: … Hope you like it. The journey continues… love Tanny x


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In A Time Of Darkness©

Times I spend in darkness staring at my phone screen, scrolling my life away
These are the times I try to piece together my life, holding onto pieces that are trying to stray
These are my lowest points
The points where I am most vulnerable
Where my mind questions my whole beings existence
When sleep seems so distant
Who am I?
What is my purpose?
And why does not being able to see my future hasn’t made me nervous?
Why do I feel so outcasted in a story that I’m supposed to lead in?
Life feels like it's rolling but I can’t seem to remember my lines
I’m the laughing stock of me!
My talents laughing to the point where tears roll down my cheek
And confidence is not confident enough to wipe them
I close my eyes and let the shame consume me
'What are you doing wrong?’ Confidence screamed out at me
‘You're not doing enough' replied my talents equally 
The words burnt in my throat
But I managed to choke them up
I whispered to myself
'You're not doing enough'
And hoped the words reached where they needed to go inside me 
To ignite whatever fuse it needed to, to fuel some sort of light at the end of the tunnel moment
I kept repeating the words to myself, getting louder each time
To the point where I lost my voice
And this, this is when I wrote this

In a time of darkness…

Note: Hope you like it. Much love. Tanny xx

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Finale: Some Feelings©

Some feelings had me caught up 
I gave and I gave and it was still not enough 
By now, you should know the story
Of how this thing called feelings got the best of me
But guess what, I’ve now figured out its purpose
See those feelings didn’t just arrive in my life unpurpose
Those feelings taught me how to love unconditionally
They gave me guidelines to a better me
I wanted to hold on to those feelings so desperately
But in the end I couldn’t let them consume me
The purpose wasn’t clear because I wasn’t willing to learn
I wasn’t willing to let go, I feared the unknown
I couldn't believe how quickly the brand new turned old 
I couldn’t cope with how fast I was outgrown 
Do you know what it feels like to have your feelings thrown….
Back in your face because you were in love with someone you couldn’t call your own
The purpose is the strength I took to overcome that
The love that I gave but didn’t receive back 
The times that I spent wiping my face
And the memories that I regretfully wanted to erase
In all that I found the purpose
I found the meaning of those feelings that had me loosing focus
I regained myself and dusted off my pride
And was ready to take on anything in the way of my strides
….
So ask me now if I have figured it's meaning
Ask me now if it was all worth feeling
I couldn’t answer you before because I wouldn’t allow myself to
Maybe I was even afraid to 
But now my answer is yes to both
And this thing called feelings are just stories for when I’m old.


Note: This is the final part to 'This Thing Called Feelings', the three part poem. Hope you liked it. Comments appreciated. Love you all. Tanny xx

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