Conversations

I'm trying to get lit off the fire coming from your soul. High off our exchange of thoughts. And drunk off the natural flow of our words being merged together. You know, that chemistry?! Our reactions to sweet words tickling our eardrums, that causes the tugging at our lips. And formulates an uproar of joy from the depths of our diaphragms, as we search for a connection on all levels of human interaction.

Note: ~much love. Tanny x

Secrets

It's okay if you whisper if your not comfortable talking aloud
Whisper in my ears and tell me how I get u aroused
Your secrets are safe with me
Just stop trying to hide them from me
The way your body unconsciously reacts tells no lies
The blushes on your cheeks and the smiles can't hide
The sneaky glances, where you have to force yourself to look away
The way you admitted that I brighten up your day
Or was that meant to be a secret?
There is only so long that you can keep it
Keep them hidden from my paths of my understanding 
Keep your face from not reacting
Hide the warmth that creeps up inside of you when you see
Deny the fact that you love it when my arms are wrapped around you
You love how secure I make you feel
I am no expert in the area of feelings, but I know when someone is trying to hide
I know when they are torn between their feelings and what is right
Having too much pride
Or maybe it's too little strength
To even consider how much their actions make sense
You don't understand why u feel that way because your mind don't want to
But a part of you want to
A part of you want explore the possibilities
A part you want to cancel out the 'what ifs'
But you won't let yourself...
... just admit it!

Note: I hope you like it. Much love. Tanny x

Made You Think 101: Inspiration Vs Discouragement

Have you ever seen or came across something that inspired you, but discouraged you at the same time?
You might be thinking, what the heck am I talking about? 
So without further ado, let me explain…

Here's an example that I feel will explain or give you an idea of what I am talking about.

So, I hop onto Facebook, and I start scrolling. I see a few things that make me question humanity, I see others that make me tickle and then I see things that I love envy; these are mainly artwork or hair styles. 
The other day I was browsing and I seen some artwork that, discouraged me but inspired me at the same time. 


Taken from Google: 

Discouraged- having lost confidence or enthusiasm; disheartened.

Inspired- of extraordinary quality, as if arising from some external creative impulse.


These artworks made me lose confidence in my own ability but at the same time I instantly gained an impulse to want to create something as good or even better than what I saw.
I love these moments, because, although I am left questioning my ability, I also get the urge to go paint or draw and prove to myself that I can do it. Usually, I am reminded that I am blessed and have been blessed with multiple talents. But, it is also a reminder that I am not doing as much with the talents that I do have and perhaps it shines light on the lack of confidence I have in myself.

I love seeing what others create and the extraordinary things that gets poured out of people's souls onto canvasses or into words or any other art form. I just look on or listen in awe, thinking I wish I could do that and be as good.
Truth is, I don't even think I have found myself creatively yet. I love exploring different art forms and trying my hands at different things but I honestly don't feel as though I have pinnacled in any as of yet. I am still on the journey towards my pinnacle and I have no idea what is in store for me on that part, I just go with whatever my heart and gut feeling is.
I will be posting artwork on my sister blog T.TizzleMedia, so you can go check it out if you are interested, thanks.

To round up this post, I just want to say, sometimes we just need reminders of how awesome we are and what we can achieve. And even though they might knock our confidence in ourselves at times, that little discouragement may be the inspiration you need to realise your potential.
Well, that is my take on it anyways.

Note: Hi, hope you are all well and hope you all have a blessed week. Much love, Tanny. xx


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Rounds

Let me paint a picture for you
The mise en scene
Low key bad girl
With those hidden curves
The type that you'll walk by cause she's not in tight clothes... or showing skin
Zoning
We don't usually dabble in this secular lifestyle
But tonight I want us to drink and get high
So high that our movements become unconscious
Just the two of us wrapped in the moment
Let that passion consume us
Cause when we are grounded we have too much time to talk ourselves out of doing what we really feel
Let the zone set the tone for a night with no limits, free
I can't tell you how long my soul has been waiting for this
Skin to skin, heat so high feels like we are saunaing
Care to make it interesting?
Lets see how long we can go
Before we past out or before we run out of glow
Mindless, driven my desire
Beautiful bite bruises, hickeys
In places you only dreamt of
Lets play out those imaginary scenes in this night
The ones that you kept in your thoughts hoping one day that you might
Tongue teasing, licks so precise
Sweat drench from pleasure
We have to pause to catch our breaths before round 2,
3, 4,
More moans and groans
Devilish smiles cause we reached that spot
Trembles, scratches, eyes rolled all the back
Telling me you want more of this and way more of that
Slaves to each others bodies
In search of that feeling of bliss
Arches have never looked as sexy as this
Freedom of touch, so we don't hold back 
The liquor talking when the positions start to get adventurous... Seesaw
That zone is for real when we get deeper into the night
Unaware of time, just know its time to change position
Add a prop in, aphrodisiac
Strawberries. Excitement flashing in your eyes
Navels are perfect for a top-up on shots to re-energise  
Tastes leaving cravings for more 
Round 5, 6, 
Surely, we can't keep going like this
You say you want to make it to round 10
Smirks with determination to reach our goal, we go again
We light up, sip some more and add more props in
Moans and groans get louder
As our bodies peak
Burnt out by desire, we lay weak
Spooned, realising we may have to continue later
This sweet, sweet, intoxicating pleasure
Soul satisfied... 
Until the next round of rounds
Tranquil smile plastered faces, absolutely content
We were drawn into a slumber with a clear conscience


Note: I was listening to some music and this came to me. I don't really know what I think of it, but I am just sharing it with you all. Much love. Tanny xx


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Made You Think 101: Call It Quits

When do you call it quits?

How many times do you have to fail before you say enough is enough?

Maybe I have touched on this topic a bit before but today the thought ran across my mind about how stubborn I am when it comes onto calling it quits, on people especially.
By nature, I tend to try and try again, as well all do, but even if I am hurting, I will keep going. If a small part of me has hope that something will change for the better, I will keep trying and trying.

There are many success stories that hold perserverance at the heart of their sucesses. 
So, does that ultimately mean that there is no limit as to when you can call it quits because we don't know if success is around the corner.
For example, we might choose to give up today, but if we had waited till tommorrow, success would be there awaiting us. Or would it?
It is a cycle. 
We tell ourselves that we can't give up, knowing that we have to cross path with success someday. But we have no idea when that day is. All we know is that we can't give up. So we keep going, working harder and harder, with no sign of success in sight.

So.... What do we hold on to?

We hold on to hope! The slight possibility that there has to be a better way.
We have faith in the belief that, maybe just one more try will do it.
And we keep going...

But... When do you call it quits?

My secret is, I never call it quits. I might stop trying a little, or maybe even a lot but these situations are stored away somewhere within me. And maybe even after years of not trying, especially with people, I might just drop them a casual 'Hi'. 
Or if it is a task of some kind, I'll leave it for a bit then revisit it.
If people or situations tug at your heart and you seem to not be going anywhere with them, maybe you are not meant to at this moment in time. But they were just introduced to you to teach you something and will be re-inroduced back when you have learnt that lesson completely.
Maybe? It's just a thought, but who knows?...

However, when facing the decision to call it quits or persevere on...

First, ask yourself...
How bad do you want it?
How hard are you willing to work for it?
How will you benefit from it?
And how passionate are you about it?

Then maybe you can start to gage when enough is enough, if ever.

Note: Hope you are all doing well? Thanks for sticking with me. Much love. Tanny xx


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Made You Think 101: Battles

A lot of the times in life we will come across various things we naturally try to fight to keep in our lives. But not every fight is worth it. We have to choose our battles and choose wisely.

There is nothing worse than when you put your all into fighting to have someone or something stay in your life, only to realise that you are far better of without them or it.
We have to look far ahead and analyse how that battle will be beneficial to our lives.
These battles come in any shape, size or form. For example, you could be fighting to keep what you think is the love of your life in your life, you could be fighting a health condition or you could be fighting your conscience. We all go through different type of battles.

So how do you know which ones are worth fighting for?

Recently, I went through this period in my life where I felt like I needed to hang on to someone. The thought of letting that person go outweighed everything else. So, I made up my mind to fight and keep fighting. Until one day I asked myself, what exactly am I fighting for? I wasn't gaining anything, my life wouldn't have been any better. So what was the point?
The truth hit me like a ton of bricks, because the truth is, there was no point. There was no point wasting my time and energy. That person's time had expired in my life. I was meant to move on but I kept dwelling and allowing myself to fall back every time I took a step forward. I felt like I was just trapped in this segment of my life, it was a tormenting cycle, and I wanted out but there was that annoying part of me that wanted me to stay there.

This was my battle…
I fought with me. I fought with myself. And I fought with I.

And I had one aim, and that was to lose to win.

I wanted to lose that part of my life, in order to winningly move forward.

Leave it as a 'look back and learn' rather than a 'why am I still here?' moment.

So, I did just that. I won the fight to lose that part of my life.
I won the fight to have a clear conscience and a calm heart. I won me, myself and I.
The battle was worth it. Cause, now it's a 'look back and learn' moment. Never will I allow myself to get to the stage where I have to fight against myself so much again.
The battles you have with yourself are possibly by far the hardest. You will not know you have won until you see a change in the outcome. And whilst you are fighting these battles with yourself you are convincing part of yourself that you are right yet another part of you feels so wrong.
This was the choice I had to make. I was going with the part of me that felt right but nothing was turning out right. So I chose to go with the part of me that felt wrong, and because I had so much faith in the part that felt right; coming to terms with the fact that the part that felt right was actually the wrong part was hard for me. I couldn't understand how it felt so right but everything was going the opposite way to how it felt.

Sometimes, the battles that have the best outcomes for us are the ones we don't want to fight but we are forced to because the ones we chose to fight weren't giving us the results we wanted or needed.

Normally, I'm the 'go with the flow' type of person but some flows are off-beat and are not to be gone with, that situation was one of those off-beat flows.
I'm glad that I've left it alone now.

Now the battle is to keep choosing what is actually worth fighting for.

Note: Hope you are well, my awesome readers. Thanks for reading. Much love, Tanny xx


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Conversations With My Sis

(Image taken from 'This Is My Melanin' on T.TizzleMedia blog)

Conversations with my sis
Makeup has never been my thing
No, really, makeup has never been my thing
But lately the topic seems to keep reoccurring 
In conversations with my sis
She storms in and asks why didn't I teach her that and this
And of course being the typical teen, she is going through that phase
Those stereotypical teen years
Where you try to stand alone but still in earshot of the rest
Where you're trying to find out what works for you best 
Where you resize your circle realising less is more
In terms of those you cherish and adore
Conversations with my sis
She spits all these questions at me that has me questioning the role I’ve played
She blames me for not sending her out there on display
Hair done but no makeup and iffy about her dress code 
I don't even know who I am, is why I'm told
So I decided to break it down for her 
Conversations with my sis
Your body is your temple 
Thats what we are taught by the bible
We have to look after it, love it, nurture it
But for generations our black race was taught to hate it
Lynched, grouped by shades
The lighter, the better and lets not get me started on our face
Your lips are too big, your eyes are too wide
Your hair consists of one too many kinks and your body is oddly sized
Our shape, too curved and thighs too thick
We were placed on displays like gallery pics
So when my sis asks me why I haven't taught her makeup, everything flashes through my mind
I reply with you don't need makeup, try to be one of a kind
It doesn't matter what shade you put over your eyes or on your face
You cannot hide the different shades of melanin of our black race
Our bodies are seen as prizes and to consist of so many curves in todays world means you a slaying
Long hair on a black girl, edges well laid hashtag winning
But we aren't winning anything if we cannot proudly wear out our naturals naps
If we can’t look ourselves in the mirror and say we are beautiful without having to take a selfie in hopes that social media will reassure us of that
Sis, why are you trying to conform to what they taught us to do
They taught us to hate us, whilst I'm teaching you to love you
Our berries are not blacker for us to waste the juice
So metaphorically speaking drink up and relish in all that is you
Conversations with my sis
I tell her that to stand out is to fit into what is you
And if someone discriminates on how tightly you wear you
Then, how is that your problem?
The eyes are made for looking, so let them
Don't hide who you are so that you blend in with the crowd and is invisible
Our black is so beautiful that it almost makes us invincible 
I want you to look in the mirror every day and say, I love this...I love this!
And make sure you love it

Conversations with my sis!


Note: I have a range of conversations with my sis about a lot of teenage stuff. This poem was inspired by some of the conversations we had. Hope you like it. Much love. Tanny xx

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Happy Mother's Day

Here in the UK, today we are celebrating Mother's Day. So, this is to all the mothers out there.
I would like to wish you all a blessed day.

Being a mother is not an easy task and although I haven't got any children of my own, my mother didn't shy away from telling her children how much of a struggle she went through. Making sure we were fed, clothed, had a roof over our heads and never missed a day from school. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes but my heart is overflowing with love for my mother. There is honestly nothing like a mother's love. 

The day mothers find out that they have a child growing inside of them, that is the day many mothers make the decision to protect that child with her life. Unfortunately, not all mothers make this choice, as that child could be there for varying reasons.
But whatever the reason, mothers should always protect their offsprings with their all. Guard them and nurture them to grow up to take their spot in society. 

To those mothers who have taken on the role of mothers to children who aren't your own, I would like to also celebrate you. To love and care for children as though they are your own is such a beautiful thing and I have the upmost respect and love for all those who are fostering. Every child needs trusting, loving and caring arms to run to. 
I also salute all those who are playing double roles, fathers who are having to be mothers as well. All that matters is that your child grows up to be the best they can be. 

On the flip side, it is said that on Mother's Day, mothers should be celebrating their children as they are the reason why they have the title of a mother. 
I found that statement quite funny, because even though it is true, mothers made the choice to go through all that they did for their children to be here today. So, I celebrate all of you proud mothers, father/mothers, foster mothers, grandparent/mothers and step-mothers out there.
 
From me to you, Happy Mother's Day!

Note: Hope you are all doing well. Much love. Tanny xx



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Made You Think 101: Bound To Run Out

I've always been a believer in second chances and sometimes even third and fourth chances, basically let's just say I'm a strong believer in chances. But how can you justify when you have had your fair share of chances?

I want to share something with you all and please can you help me out with this?.

Recently, a friend came to me and asked me for my opinion on something that was proving to be very frustrating for her. The situation goes like this…

There is this girl, whom she very much likes. The girl is beautiful in her eyes, tall, dark, soft skin, nose piercing and knows how to carry herself well. Every time they see each other, they stare at each other, eyes locked, waiting on what seems like one another to make the first move.
My friend, being who she is, she thought nothing of it at first. Until, she noticed a routine. Every Thursday, the girl would come into her work place and walk past her at least twice, still staring with a half smile on her face.
After thinking that maybe she could be interested in her, my friend told herself that she would say something to her the next time she saw her. Months went by and still nothing was said. The routine died out and my friend eagerly waited and hoped she would see her again, still with the hopes of saying something to her every time. And every time she saw her, it was like time sped up and every thing happened so fast that she hardly had time to process it.
Her chances are bound to run out at some point…
The question is, when?

Each and every time a chance passes her by, she tells herself that the next one won't but the same thing keeps reoccurring. It is even getting to the stage that she feels that maybe she has blown it and the girl is no longer interested.
This was until yesterday, when she saw her for the first time in a long while. With the same pattern occurring, the girl walked passed her twice. She even turned and looked back, but not a sound escaped my friend's lips.

She is beating herself up for letting yet another chance slip through her fingers. It's situations like these that you realise how hard a 'hello' can be when it is for the first time with who you hope to be the right person.

So, how many chances does it take just to get it right and if/when she does get it right, how many more chances after that does it take to stay getting it right?

If this was you, what would you do? How would you handle such situation? Would you give up?

Maybe she doesn't deserve any more chances, as she has already had one too many. Maybe it is not meant to be or maybe the time isn't right?
But all these 'maybes' could be answered if she took one of the chances when they presented themselves. I understand that nerves can get the better of us when it comes on to someone that we like and that the first move is always the hardest thing to do, but being stuck with 'maybes' is even worse.

Do you think that she should just suck it up and be the bigger person or should she wait and hope things fall into place?
All I know is that she is very frustrated with herself for not grabbing the chance in the first place, but to be given ample amount of chances and still not utilising them, that has got to be very agonising.

Personally, I think she should go for it, but that is easier said than done. Do you have any suggestions for her? I'd would love to gather all your thoughts and share them with her, in hopes that, that will help her to analyse what she should do about this persisting situation?


Note: I'd really love all your help and advise and I am sure my friend would appreciate them too. Much love. Tanny xx


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Made You Think 101: Awareness

With everything happening in the world nowadays, you have to either be so caught up in your own thoughts or so keen to turn a blind eye on the news to not have the slightest clue.
So let me fill you in briefly, based on what I know…

In the UK: The main talk is about the referendum and whether the United Kingdom should leave the European Union.
There was press regarding the shortage of nurses in Lincolnshire hospitals.
There is surprisingly a lot of child abuse cases recently coming to light, dating back to the 80s on some.
Europe: Greece is having to cope with the 2000+ refugees entering their country every day. With only up to about 200 people allowed to cross over into Macedonia each day, the refugee camps are fearing the worse humanitarian crisis since the Second World War.

In the USA: Two words, Donald Trump. The race to the white house is on and so far Trump is in the lead.
There is a lot of race talks but when is there not, I mean it is America.

In Brazil: The Zika virus is relaying around Brazil, months before the Rio Oylmpics 2016. And guess where they said it was started… surprise, surprise… Africa. Uganda to be specific. And how was it all started, oh … *drum-rolls* by … monkeys. Basically, as these scientists do, they test out a bunch of diseases, they used monkeys as there baits back then, and they normally go to African countries to do this. Then, bam, outbreaks years or even decades later. But they don't turn around and say, 'oh, it was us, we did it, we created this'. No! They simply say, 'oh, it started out, in Africa, by monkeys'. *straight face*

But moving on...

Africa: They still haven't brought back our girls. And there has been further recent abduction of girls in Nigeria.
Africa contains the world's wealthiest countries yet also has the poorest. Africa could feed itself many times over if it's natural resources weren't used for capitalisation.

But let's not get into that…

In Syria: We should all know what has taken place in Syria to lead to Syrians having to flee their country, by risking their lives, on boats for days, to reach other countries borders, only to be told they are not allowed in.

In Jamaica: Jamaicans await the new elected Prime Minister, Hon. Andrew Holness, to follow through on his promises to better Jamaica.

In China: The one child policy has finally been lifted. This may be oldish news but I thought I'd include it anyways. China will have 1/3 of their population 60 years and over by mid century.

North Korea: Missiles and nuclear weapons. Big question is whether North Korea even have them.

I might not stay up to date on everything that is happening, but every so often I like to go and have a quick read through. I know there is a lot more happening around the world but I felt like sharing these with you all. It is up to you, if you want to look into them more. These are purely based on what I've read and a little snippet of my insights. I am just encouraging you all to be aware.


Note: I'm not an expert on world news or news in general. I tend to be aware of what is going on but not get into it too much. Thanks for reading as always. Much love. Tanny xx


Disclaimer
All content on this blog are the property of the author, TannyTizzle and may not be copied, reproduced, distributed or displayed without TannyTizzle's permission.

 All poetry registered with Copyright House